Home is not a place
by jackravenrobyn
Summary: Mello gets a little more than he bargained for


To be free...that concept is almost alien to me. I have almost forgotten what it is like. I haven't been free, not in a long time. Not since I left the orphanage - and with it my innocence to the workings of the world.

Whammy's institute for gifted children. Wasn't much fun there, but it beats here by a long shot. Not much fun until Matt got transferred, at least. Stop thinking about it! It won't do you any good to get distracted at a time like this!

I shift my grip on my custom made pistol - unfortunately I have small, feminine hands that struggle to hold a standard one. Kind of like the rest if me; willowy body and small in both stature and frame.

My ice-blue eyes find the target and my hands automatically take win and pull on the trigger. "In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, amen." I cross myself and stand up, looking down on the still body in the alleyway from my vantage point on the rooftops. Time to leave, I decide, before I am discovered.

* * *

You would think that my dreams are full of regret and sorrow, what with me being an assassin and all. Contrary to popular belief, I am not completely heartless. But they aren't the melancholy infested nightmare you would think would plague me.

When I dream, I dream of green. Pure, untainted and sparkling green. The green slowly swims into focus, revealing it to be a pair of eyes. A face slowly morphs out of the darkness around them, the innocent grin that holds a hint of rebellion only becoming more and more familiar. An unruly mop of bright red hair reaches past the eyes, almost – but not quite – obscuring them from view.

Each night I see him. Then, suddenly his beautiful face crumples up, tears streaming unchecked down his cheeks. His face clearly betrays the hurt and confusion he is feeling. He chases after me in the rain, trying to follow me as he has always done. Poor boy, always so reliant on me - not that I minded, I rather liked that he looked up to me. And when he was rebellious…well.

He collapses to his knees at the orphanage gates and calls after me. He is frozen in place, prevented from going further by the taboo of leaving the grounds. He shouts all manner of profanities and he demands, even begs, me to come back.

His last pitiful wail is one I will always remember. It reminds me of a lone wold howling at the moon: desperate for something. It broke my heart hearing it then, and it keeps breaking every time I re-live it.

"MELLOOOOO!"

* * *

I jerk into full wakefulness and sit up sharply. Why does he keep getting at me like this?

"Mello?" The underling lurking in the doorway enquired uncertainly. Stupid twat, he should be afraid!

"What?!" I scowl across the darkness at him, letting my anger spike my voice.

"The boss wants ya."

Oh great. Now I have to go act like one of his many whores. Stupid perverted boss. All for another target. Ain't that just dandy?

Why the fuck do so many people need to be killed anyway, they can't _all _be threats to the organisation.

* * *

This had better be worth it. I hate acting like I'm whoring myself out.

Final hooker outfit check. Leather vest tight and showing off significant stomach, leather trousers so tight that they're like a second skin, making my junk pretty visible. Just like the boss likes it. The creeper.

Brace yourself, Mello, you can do this. You've done it thousands of times before. Kick open the doors, stalk in with an exaggerated swing to the hips and sit on his lap like one of his whores. Don't look at anyone else in the room, not until I have got that far.

"My, my! Someone's eager today!"

The leer is obvious in his voice, making him sound like even more of a sleaze than normal. Don't shudder, school your features into a neutral expression.

"Only eager to take out the Target and get back to bed." Damn, I shouldn't have mentioned bed...

"You won't be taking them out. Not yet at least." What? Why get me up this early then?!

"It's more of a babysitting job. He will be hacking several mainframes for us-"

"-but you can't trust them."

"Exactly. I need you to watch over him, 24/7"

"When do I start?"

The door opens and in walks a tall, thin man. Quite unremarkable really, auburn hair, a pair of geeky orange goggles over his eyes, and a cigarette in his mouth.

"Now. Take him back to your room. Sleep if you must, but remember to watch over him always." His filthy hands wander down my body, lingering to rub on my crotch in an attempt to get me to respond.

I push his hands away and get up to leave. Thank god that's over. The boss decides to spank my retreating ass with a loud SMACK! As if the whore process wasn't embarrassing enough. Everyone in the room now has their attention focused on me, drawn by the noise.

Heh. You better watch me, bitch! The hacker had flinched away from the sound, I noticed, almost as if physically hurt by it. How annoying. Babysitting him, I mean. This has just ruined my day. I probably won't be able to sleep now, with him in the room.

* * *

I stalk out of the room and immediately ditch the hip-swing exaggeration. I'm no girl. I stalk back to my room as fast as my short legs will carry me. Much to my supreme annoyance, the hacker has no trouble keeping up with his stupid long legs.

I slam the door behind him in frustration and process to strip myself of the infernal clothes. The hacker seems to be ogling at me; I can't tell when he has goggles over his eyes. The Fuck does he think he is doing?

When undressed, I push the startled hacker onto my massive bed and cuff one hand to the ironwork of the headboard.

"Don't you DARE wake me up. Not for anything. And don't touch the chocolate either, got it?" He nods mutely and just sits watching (I assume) while I get into bed and sleep. And when I sleep, I dream of HIM...

* * *

I jerk sharply awake and sit there, panting. Sweat covers my face and chest in a thin sheen. I glance at the clock on my bedside table. 10.30. Damn! Why do I have to get up so damn early?!

"Yo! Hacker! You awake?" You can't exactly see his eyes through the goggles, you see. He nods slowly. "Good. We're going for a shower."

I undo the cuff from his wrist, and leave it dangling on the headboard for when we get back. I drag him by the forearm out of my room and down the hallway to the communal bathrooms. Horrid things they are.

I pull off my boxers and turn the water temperature up as high as it will go. Which isn't as high as it should be, let me tell you that. The hacker just stands there, watching me - I think. I turn on the showerhead next to mine, "Get in. Before all the perverts get here. When they do, I can guarantee you that it will _not_ be pretty."

He hesitates, so I turn away to give him privacy. At least, I assume that's what he wanted. I hear him sigh as the warm water hits him, and I wonder; does he _always_ wear those goggles? I'm really tempted to look, but I shouldn't and decide against it. I'd like to think I'm above such acts, but I'm really not.

After a while, an unfamiliar voice breaks the silence. "Why do you let him treat you like that? The boss, I mean." I can't help it; it's an involuntary reaction to look at him.

When I do, I notice something immediately. His eyes...pure, brilliant green. No. Just no. It can't be him; he doesn't look like Matt. He shifts slightly and - is that what I think it is?! I forcibly turn him around to see his back. It _is_ what I think it is!

Ten almost identical scars. Faint, but I can see them because I know to look for them. Scars that were made by nails in the throes of ecstasy. Scars that _I _made the first time we had sex.

"Matt?" I sound so weak, so disbelieving.

"Do you realize you talk in your sleep? It was kinda kinky having you call out my name like that, especially after so long. Fuck, I'm getting turned on just thinking about it."  
"Would you like to do it again? Fuck until we can barely stay conscious?" I sound like such a sex demon. But then again, Matt always brings out the best in me.

"You bet I do..."

Being deprived of the one you love for so long can take its toll. We're just lucky to have found each other again. Now all we have to do is get away from this place, start over.


End file.
